REALLY??

IN MY HOOD!

2011-06-26T07:53:00.000-07:00

My son was mugged yesterday in my neighborhood. I live in East Rogers Park near the Morse L stop. He was jumped by a group of black guys in the alley who took his cash and phone. At first I was angry that they hurt my son and took all of his ID and brand new (cheap) phone, but the anger subsided when I realized my son was not seriously hurt and they returned his wallet with his ID.

I am still angry they punched my son in the face and corrupted his love of this city. He had moved here from Texas to escape the verbal and mental abuse from his dad's new wife. We both looked forward to his fresh start and the chance to explore all of his new options now that he graduated from HS and was in a city with countless choices and opportunities.

I came to realize that I feel sorry for the kids who mugged my son because they obviously lack a positive male role model in their lives. Also, I realized that their mothers must not love them enough to teach them that they need to graduate HS and then get a real job to support themselves. No one taught them that ganging up on one individual to steal their stuff was not a real job, but was mere thuggery and NOTHING to be proud of. As a mother, I went out of my way to insure my boys were not hanging around with a "bad crowd" who would encourage this type of behaviour. I always knew pretty much who my kids were hanging out with and where they were at all times. I knew the parents of my kids friends and kept in touch with them to help the kids stay on track. I feel sorry for the thugs because they obviously did not have someone at home this invested in their futures.

The money they took from my son was his first paycheck after having worked an entire weekend at a neighborhood fest busting his butt to clean and help out. I can replace his hard earned cash, but it will take a while to restore his faith in our beloved city.

Running is Stupid!

2011-04-11T06:10:00.000-07:00

I woke up yesterday morning knowing I didn't want to run, but I got dressed and left the house anyways. I seem to vaguely recall signing up for all these runs as a way to motivate myself into getting in shape. I seem to recall that the road to hell is paved with good intentions. So, now that I have completed 2 runs, a 5k and an 8k, I question the madness to my method.

First of all, I am constantly reminded by my friend that I should probably run more then the once a month I run these goofy races. I remind her that my 5 year yoga plan came to fruition in only 4 years. The first year I bought a yoga mat. The second year I bought a bag to hold my yoga mat. The third year I purchased a groupon for yoga classes and this year I attended some yoga classes. I may be slow but I am dedicated!

So now back to running. I have no clue why people do this crap. Another friend swears they do it for the endorphins or the "runner's high" some people experience when they run. I do not get that. My biggest problem with running is the fact that I get really bored really quickly. I start out jogging (let's face it, I am NOT "running" at this pace) and quickly decided that I don't care for it and I am bored so I switch to walking. I LOVE to walk. So, as best as I can figure, if it doesn't make you high and you are not running from the cops or a fire, it is a stupid thing.

I signed up for the timed runs so I could keep track (or rather THEY could keep track for me) of my times to see if I improved. I went down just a hair with the second race, but in my defense, it was hot, VERY crowded (40k runners) and they had us running over bridges. Bridges are NOT runner friendly as they have large metal grates over the tops and they are like small hills to be climbed. I think we did maybe 5 bridges yesterday and I want to beat the race designer to death for putting the biggest hill about 1/2 a mile from the finish. REALLY?!?

Nobody told me

2011-03-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

Nobody told me that I was wrong when I talked about running a 2.2 mile 5k race. I know I said more then once that a 5k was 2.2 miles. It was not until I was almost finished, and I was passing the 3 mile marker, that I came to find out that a 5k is actually 3.2 miles. I have to say that if I had been told about the extra mile BEFORE the race, I may have thought twice about running. I was just realllllly glad I had not even thought about signing up for the 8k.

NOW I look it up

2011-03-03T10:19:00.000-08:00

I got a small surprise last night so I decided to google the issue today. Apparently, chemo throws you into menopause and tamoxifen has NOTHING to do with causing you to go into menopause. So, because of my age, my body might actually be in menopause and the tamoxifen is just causing the hot flashes. REALLY?? I have to put up with this shit for 5 years? I have another what, 3.5 years to go? REALLY? No wonder the chemo pharmacist said lots of women stop taking it. HOLY CRAP! That is a horse of a differant color. REALLY?

FAT!

2011-03-02T11:41:00.000-08:00

It seems that I have gained a good deal of weight lately and as hard as I try to lose it, all I can do is maintain. I have been walking to the train, taking yoga, eating Seattle Suttons for 2 weeks and generally trying to be good and make healthy choices, but the weight is like superglued to my butt. Actually, it is my fat gut that bothers me most. They say that is stress fat, but I am not really stressed about anything at this particular moment of my life.

So, I am left to ask....is it possible my body is actually going through menopause and that is why the hot flashes are more intense and frequent even though I am doing acupuncture and herbs? If that is the case, YEAH! That means that the hot flashes will end when my body is done driving me crazy. Until then, I need to hang on and remember that this too shall pass...like a kidney stone.

Not sleeping

2011-02-25T08:25:00.000-08:00

As I lay in bed, tossing and turning last night, I began to think about the article I had read that said the hot flashes stop when your body stops producing estrogen. So, if I am in chemically induced menopause and my body has not gone through actual menopause, this could go on for YEEEAAAARRRRSSS! Seriously, the meds are a 5 year deal and then I have to hope like hell my body goes ahead and does the real menopause before the end of the 5 year period. I talked to the pharmacist and the oncologist and they both stated they were concerned that I finish the full 5 years of hormone therapy. They both stated that the vast majority of women tend to quit before the end of the 5 years because they cannot take the side effects. NO SHIT! I have not been sleeping well for weeks and while the acupuncture helps take the edge off, it is not working as well as it used to. I have tried going back to the sleeping meds now and then, but they no longer seem to work.

I am just trying to hang in there......by a thread! This too shall pass like a kidney stone.

NOT toothless

2011-02-21T11:13:00.000-08:00

The dentist said my teeth were in amazing shape, considering what I had been through, and that all he needed to do for me was to file down the sharp edges. WOOHOO I was in and out in less then an hour and it only cost me $75. It was good news indeed.

Today was my first day back on Seattle Sutton's. I forgot how WONDERFUL it is to NOT have to THINK about food. The food is prepared in the correct portions and it tastes reallllllly good. I take the time to label all of my meals with the day of the week so I don't even have to think about what to eat when. Every time I try it I wind up losing up to 10 pounds the first week. I just need to jump start the weight loss.

I have found a home in a yoga class with a teacher I love. I have 2 more weeks left of my groupon and then it is off to fitness bootcamp. Indoors this time! After that, I have another 4 week groupon for a yoga studio closer to my house. I have a long journey ahead of me, but this is a good journey. I plan to keep my head up and looking forward. The last long journey I took was the ucky kind, this is the good kind.

Toothless

2011-02-14T14:32:00.000-08:00

I do not recall them telling me that undergoing chemo would result in the possible loss of my teeth. I have ALWAYS had good teeth all my life. I wound up having a root canal while living at the nursing home during radiation, but I chalked that up to a freak occurrence. Now, almost a year and a half after completing chemo my teeth are starting to crack and break. I have finally scheduled an appointment with a dentist, but at $1500 per cap or crown, saving my teeth may not be financially possible. I REFUSE to get a mouth full of false teeth and would kill myself before I would go toothless. It was bad enough when I lost a tooth in the back of my upper jaw due to a botched root canal by a dentist who shouldn't have been performing a root canal in the first place, but I will be damned if I will lose any more.

I have no idea what my options are, but, like the car, I am taking my mouth into the dentist to have him take a look under the hood. I am keeping my fingers crossed that there is a way to keep them. I will look into the idea of veneers? or caps? All I can think is $$$$$$$$

Being a survivor

2011-02-07T09:29:00.000-08:00

When I was first diagnosed and treated, I had no idea what a survivor went through. After finishing all of my treatments it still felt odd to have others refer to me as a "survivor". It is now, only 2 years later, that I am finally able to look back at the road I traveled and marvel at the fact I did survive.

I take pride in being a member of this horribly elite club. What is it that Groucho Marx said, "I don't want to be part of a club that would have me as a member"? This is not a club anyone wants to join, but for those of us unwilling members who make it to the end, we are stronger for our journey.

It is especially at this time of year, that being around the time of my birthday, that I begin to wax nostalgic at my journey and actually find myself missing being able to use my, "I am just not up to it" excuse that was a small perk available for riding the "gravy train" of cancer and chemo.

It also makes me wonder if I get credit for the times I "survived" having to deal with family trauma-drama? I guess not. Apparently everyone has family issues but only some of us have those issues exacerbated by internal medical issues. Oh well, this too shall pass......like a kidney stone.

Red Headed Step-children

2011-01-31T09:30:00.000-08:00

For those of you in the know, the life of a contract temp attorney work is crazy at best. Part of the appeal is that you are working at different places, so if you find a place you don't like, you can rest assured that eventually you will move and be in a new place. The HUGE downside is the lack of job security or "normality" in your life. It is hard to get into a real "routine" if there is nothing really routine about your life. But, it is what I do, not by choice, and it is how I live.

One of the dark secrets about this work is the way that we are often treated in the workplace. We generally work at one of two places. We either work at the law firm itself, or in a space provided us by the temp agency. There are good and bad places to work. Law firms can tend to treat us as "mere temps" and ask that we not mingle with their real lawyers or use their facilities. Temp agencies tend to provide basics, like access to a kitchen and disposable plates, napkins, etc.

I have been treated like a guest at some of the best law firms in town and I have been treated like an illegitimate step-child by some of the almost best firms in town. The temp agencies tend to treat us as chattel, but are more likely to bring us bagels and donuts as an incentive to keep working longer hours. After all, the temp agencies only get paid if we are at our desks billing. It is a rare occurrence when a temp agency treats you as the step-child. The notion of working at a place with a kitchen but not being allowed to use it, or having to rinse the coffee pot in the bathroom if we want to make coffee is something I am not used to. Some days we are chattel, some days we are fellow employees, and some days we are illegitimate red-headed step-children produced by a bastard heir.

It is hard enough working next to someone who spends all day surfing the net and very little time "working", but when I have to take an elevator to the lobby to get coffee, it seems a bit harder to want to work.

Farting and Sweating

2011-01-30T09:55:00.000-08:00

I have now officially attended two actual yoga classes. They do NOT consider Wii yoga as real yoga, but considering the Wii trainer actually shows me how to do the pose and the real yoga instructors have ignored me, I am liking the Wii even more.

First of all, all that stretching and bending seems to stretch out the intestines as well but I seem to be the only person in class with farting issues. I always said the cancer gave me gas, and yoga is letting me express myself.

The other thing about yoga is that "hot" and "yoga" in the same sentence are redundant. When I attended my first class, it was not supposed to be a "hot" yoga class (one in which the room temp. is cranked to 104) but because there had been a "hot" yoga class right before ours, it was pretty warm. My second class was a more advanced class and I found out AFTER I started it that it was a "hot" class. I was sweating before I even moved. Needless to say, I only made it about half way through class before surrendering myself to become one with my yoga mat.

It was NOT a bad investment to buy "yoga clothes". You really do want something that is form fitting so it doesn't get in the way when you are trying to scratch your back with your toenails.

My ability to make it to a class is more hampered by the locations of the classes then by my lack of enthusiasm. I got lost one night this week and was too late to make the class. I comforted myself with a slice or two of pizza at my favorite brick oven pizza place. I have signed up for a class in my hood so that might help the making it to class issue.

Rahm and stuff

2011-01-25T11:53:00.000-08:00

Still haven't been able to find a reasonably priced memory foam mattress. The issue is that I need a full sized mattress. Apparently they tend to only make them in queen and king. People sleeping alone don't need to be comfortable I guess. I sleep with my cat....does that count?? If my room would fit a queen, I would have kept my old bed and this would be a non issue.

I went ahead and cancelled my chemistry.com and match.com accounts. The last time I participated on the sites I was up for 3 months with few to no responses. I have decided to cut my losses this time and quit after only 1 month. The ONLY person to respond in a month was the one guy who I have known for a few years, both before and after the breast cancer, and while he tells me he finds me attractive and likes me, he won't ask me out. I will take that as a clue. This doesn't mean I am now leaning towards going on a gay cruise. I would like to think that maybe someone might get drunk enough on a cruise to ask me out, and I do not care for women as partners.

My Wii keeps asking me about Michael. It wants to know how he is doing and yells at me for not watching his posture. It keeps telling me I am obese and when I gained a pound last week it made my avatar even fatter. I started real yoga and signed up for an indoor fitness boot camp (NO BUGS) that I will start after my month of yoga. The Wii is still fun, but let's see how it likes being ignored!

Miss Kitty says mrow and has all but abandoned Dean for the cat cushion in the living room that is right next to the radiator. I guess my hot flashes are not keeping her warm enough! Speaking of that, this last round of acupuncture did not seem to work as well and I have been getting my ass kicked by the hot flashes.

Finally, for those not living in a cave, the whole Chicago mayor Rahm thing has finally hit the fan. I said ages ago I didn't think he qualified as a resident. If the facts were the same except his wife took the job as the Obama's nanny, this would be a non-issue and he would be laughed out of town. We shall see. My other prediction was that this election would be very entertaining to watch. So far, I am right on both issues :-)

My own uber dilema

2011-01-21T10:24:00.000-08:00

It is looking more and more like our next mayor will be Rahm Emmanuel. I agree with Mr. Kass that this is a really bad idea for the city. Carol Mosely Braun is not a good choice either, ditto Chico. Mr. del Valle is the only "good" choice, but he is the least politically connected and therefore is running last.

Having my own close encounter with the Rahmster only confirmed my beliefs that he is not a nice person and will not be the fresh, unconnected infusion of new blood this city so desperately needs.

My uber dilema is whether I ride the tide and volunteer my time with the Rahmster's campaign to possibly ride the tide into a nice cushy patronage gig to save my own self, and thereby sell my soul to the devil, or do I volunteer to work on the del Valle campaign in an uphill battle? I want and need a real job at this point in my life, but I also believe that Rahm will further ruin the city. What to do?

Cutting loose the albatross

2011-01-14T11:04:00.000-08:00

There once was a man who made my heart skip a beat every time I heard his voice. From the instant we met, I knew this was "the one". I had not even wanted to date him in the first place and had answered his blind email on AOL with trepidation. He ran very late for our first date but he had a meeting that ran over. I soon decided he was the most amazing man I had ever met. He made me feel extremely sexy, beautiful and more intelligent then I ever thought possible. He loved kids and took to my boys like a duck to water.

I mean we were talking about building a house. It was only 4 months into dating, but this was it. I now knew what love felt like. And then, for no apparent reason, and with no warning he up and disappeared from my life. He went out of town for business and said he would call back when he returned. He never called me back. His phone number was disconnected. I was beyond devastated. It took me months before I could get out of bed to do anything but work and take care of the kids. I barely took care of the kids but they were old enough to feed themselves. My world imploded.

I ran into him a year or so later and he explained that he knew he would never get married again, we were both headed in different directions and he was putting his work first. I felt better for having closeure, but it was nice to have an old friend to talk to. That was 11 or so years ago. We have kept in touch and talk maybe once a year. We always played the pretend game about possible ways to hook up and get back together, but he made no effort. I understood this would never happen, but again, he told me I deserved to be married and he was never getting married ever again in his life. Things just never worked out and the fact I told him I never wanted to get married ever again did nothing to change his mind. I did not long and pine away, but tucked away in the far recesses of my mind, there was always the spark of "what if?".

When I prepared to go to DC for the rally, I contacted him and asked if I could crash on his couch. Prior posts will let you know this did not happen, and because his adult daughter was in town, dinner or drinks didn't happen either.

I found him on Facebook a while back and sent a friend request. He never acted on it. When I mentioned this a few days again, he said it was because he wanted to talk to me before he friended me.....??????

Long story short, I called him yesterday to ask him a question and he didn't answer. I didn't bother to leave a message and took it as a sign. Sometimes we do stupid things when we are sad. I was pleasantly surprised that he bothered to call me back and felt my heart skip that same old beat. During the course of the conversation, I was informed he had married the woman he said he was no longer dating, but who reminded him of me. Kind of like a poor imitation of me. She even had red hair. My ego is now crushed, but wait, it gets better.

He went on to tell me he is not happy with his marriage choice and says he made a mistake. He implies he regrets not marrying me. I am sad, I am hurt and I am somewhat relieved. I came to realize he was my romantic albatross and we all know how that worked out for the ancient mariner. I am considering this a chance to wipe the slate clean and start from scratch. I wish him the best of luck and a happy life as I delete his contact info. Remain friends my ass!

One way or the other

2011-01-12T10:47:00.000-08:00

I do not blame Sarah Palin for the shootings in Arizona this week, but you cannot have it both ways. You CANNOT use iconography depicting the cross hairs of a gun and claim this is "just a symbol" and is not meant to denote a suggestion of gun violence. If it was merely a symbol to point out the districts that were in need of change, an "X" can mark the spot with no extra connotations. When you choose to point a gun at someone, real or imagined, you are suggesting that you plan to use that weapon. The only use for a gun is to kill someone or something, it is not like they are multipurpose household items.

The entire country has to take a chill pill. When you use hateful words, symbols or acts to express your opinion, you are expressing hate. I disagree with almost every single Republican in this country, but the only ones I truly "hate" are Dick Cheney and Donald Rumsfeld because I believe them to be 100% pure evil. I hate the players AND their games on that one.

When you yell "off with their heads", you are saying you want them to die and not that you would like them to wear a different sweater.....really??!???

Putting it out there...

2011-01-11T07:44:00.001-08:00

Friends and I have already started to plan a big cruise for my 50th birthday in 2012, and the questions of where and with whom being the only ones open to discussion. Well, that and the issue of gay or straight. I had the time of my life on the RSVP cruise I attended, but it did NOTHING for any potential love life.

My 49th birthday is next month and I am really jonesing to go away on a cruise. I had been planning a cruise for Christmas with one or both of my boys, but due to certain, how shall we say "legal" issues encountered by a child, I had to stop planning and just stay put. So, the idea of going on a cruise is burned into my brain. Before I go any further, I KNOW I cannot "afford" to go on a cruise, but I also couldn't "afford" a lot of things in life. Technically, I could not "afford" to have kids but I did that anyways.

So, I have started looking at cruises online. If you book it shortly before it goes, they are more desperate to sell the rooms so a 7 day Carribean cruise can go for around $500 plus tax and airfare. I could likely do it for $1000. The only problem is that it is twice the price to cruise as a single. You have to pay for the full room whether you are one or two so it would cost me twice as much for the cruise itself. Most cruise lines don't like to pair you up as they would rather sell more rooms.

I am putting it out there..........anyone up for a cruise the end of February?

Jogging with Jesus

2011-01-11T07:38:00.000-08:00

My son helped me set up my Wii and my Wii fit programs. As part of the setup, he created his own avatar named Drequan, a young and hip black guy, don't ask, and he set up a few other assorted avatar as well. Although I could understand the humour of having Jesus box or battle Hitler, I made him remove the Hitler. Some things are just too far over the ledge to be funny. Anywho, last night was the first chance I have had to actually get my workout gear on and play (read work out) on the Wii. I had a blast! I found myself competing with my previous scores and getting angry when I "failed" a task. Apparently, if you drop your hula hoop, you "fail" the challenge. My favorites so far are running and the hula hoop challenge. As I was jogging along on my third run, I was passed by a smiling Jesus who waved back at me. I must say it made me chuckle and it helped me to feel less like I was working out and more like I was playing video games. I am still pissed about the fat avatar thing, but this too shall pass.

Never safe to assume...

2011-01-05T12:53:00.000-08:00

By now I figured it was common knowledge that I had 2, yes, TWO, count em 2, tattoos. My Michael seemed surprised to see them the other day. As some of you know, I had bonded with Dylan over tattoos a few years back before he deployed for his third trip back to hell. Dylan got a wicked awesome tat of a steeley/cubs thing on his elbow and I got a cutie patootie tattoo toe ring on my right foot. The tattoo artist was taken aback and rather insulted that I referred to it as, "a cutie patootie tattoo". I remember commenting that it had not hurt as badly as I had thought it would and was rather surprised when it appeared to have rubbed off just a few weeks later. The theory was that the tattoo artist had "skin popped it" or only hit the top few layers so it wasn't really permanent.

For my 2 year anniversary (I have decided to go with the date of my first fateful mammogram as that is the date that is burned into my mind) I felt compelled to commemorate the event. For whatever reason, I was drawn to the idea of a tattoo. Nothing huge, nothing fancy, just a pink ribbon with maybe a few flowers. The obvious spot for such a tattoo would appear to be the left boob. However, my entire chestal area voted that idea off the island and refused to let the needles anywhere near. The top of the foot, while extremely painful to tattoo, seemed the next obvious choice, as there was no way in hell I was getting a tramp stamp and everything else was exposed with a bathing suit top and therefore in your face. The foot is the one part of the body that doesn't change shape much when you lose or gain weight. While I was at it, I had the guy redo the toe ring. This time, the thing hurt like holy hell.........thank you valium.

Back and Forwards

2011-01-04T08:02:00.000-08:00

Last year, meaning 2010, was interesting one full of changes and experiences. I am glad to say I was able to start the year with hair. The hair is now short and grey and does whatever the hell it wants. No amount of product seems to tame the perpetual state of bedheadedness that has become my new hairdo. My hair is one giant mess. Keeping it realllllllllllly short seems to help but I am letting it grow for the winter. I found a hat I liked that managed to keep my head warm, but apparently I lost it the night I took the boys and their friends to Lou Malnati's in Naperville. No good deed goes unpunished.

For those of you who did not know, I moved. I am still in Chicago but I moved a few blocks North from the Edgewater hood to Rogers Park. I also moved 2 red line L stops further North, but my favorite bus, the 147 Express, stops at my corner. The 147 goes express on Lake Shore Drive at Foster and it provides me with my "moment of zen" every single time I ride the bus. I do not care where you think you have been and the wonders you may have seen, but NOTHING beats Lake Shore Drive for the beauty it exudes. Day, night, rain, snow, or clear and sunny, Lake Shore Drive is a great view both East and West.

I have been lucky enough to work most of the year, although it seems the rate of pay for Chicago projects has gone back down. With some projects, I almost make more on unemployment then I do working. I appreciate the need to get out of bed every day with someplace to go and something to do. Now that I have a) recovered from cancer and completed all my treatments, b) moved, and c) settled down, I need to work on improving my health. My goal is to lose weight but I am not setting a number on anything. I purchased a Wii Fit system and I love it. I enjoy having the tracking system in place to track my progress. What I HATE about the system is the fact that once it weighed me and added my height and age, it determined I am obese (no shit!) and made my little animated person fat. REALLY? My avatar is now fat??? They had to go there. I will look into outside fitness programs but I like the fact I can do this at home and shower in my own bathroom when done.

I have ONE more graduation to attend this year and 4.25 more child support payments to make. After attending my last mandatory graduation I will not EVER have to step in the state of Texas again. After the child support is done, I am using the money I get from his retirement to travel the world. I joined the Navy and only ever saw Navy World. I need to get out more and meet new people and eat great food. I have heard the pasta in Italy is pretty good.

I will also devote myself to finding a "real job" this year. I enjoy the work I do and I love the lifestyle it affords, but I miss the stability that comes with a regular paycheck, not to mention the benefits. Dental? I do not recall such a thing. Onwards and upwards..........no place to go but up these days!

Pain meds, porn and peas

2010-12-29T15:37:00.000-08:00

I went into the whole acupuncture hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. First of all, unless the student is a bad needeler, it generally doesn't hurt and you don't necessarily feel it. As my brother-in-law pointed out, there is no "cure", there is simply a state of maintenance. So, the fact that I have felt better since starting acupuncture convinces me that it is working. The degree to which it works is debatable and may change from day-to-day or even week-to-week. I can now say for sure it was working because, like pain meds, I may not have been fully aware it was working, but boy was I aware of the fact the effects were wearing off. Like porn, you may not be able to define the actual benefits, but you will know it when you feel it. As for the pea reference, my body is going through another rough patch and so the concept of buying a memory foam mattress needs to become a reality VERY QUICKLY. Thankful to be working to make that happen.

The acupuncture clinic is closed for the holidays but I doubled up my herbs so I should live until they reopen.

Am I really right??

2010-12-13T15:54:00.000-08:00

I have been watching the news lately and it seems that the Republicans have decided that the rich are not rich enough and to take ANY of the money would cause the end of civilization as we know it. So, I want to make sure I have it right....after all, we are negotiating with terrorists right?

Gays can only serve opening in the military but ONLY if the rich get to keep all their cash.

Unemployed individuals get a few extra months of benefits but ONLY if the rich get to keep all their cash.

Health care for everyone is going to be recalled and parts of the legislation has been declared unconstitutional, BUT the rich get to keep all their cash.

Our president seems to have lost his spine and the Dems have crawled into a cave to lick their wounds, BUT, the rich get to keep all their cash.......right?

Holiday baking and other stuff

2010-12-06T08:18:00.000-08:00

It is that time of year again. I have now participated in 5 craft fairs and all but 2 were a complete bust. My friend Nikka has been a blessing as my helper. When you work an actual craft fair with actual paying customers, it helps to have 2 people. I can work on making more items or making custom items while the other person sells and does customer interactions. All of the other vendors agreed that this year has been a bad year for homemade crafts. Food booths are doing better then anyone else, as you can always seem to justify a box of cookies or a jar of homemade jam. It is a sad state of affairs when you are THRILLED to "make the table" (cover the cost of the fee to sell that can vary from $15 to $125). It is an accomplishment when the cost of the table is $50 but if ALL you do is make the table and the fee was $15, it is a very sad show.

I have one more show to do this season, unless someone knows of a group doing a craft fair the weekend of Dec. 18, and then I pack it away for the winter. I will gear up now for spring and summer, but I should absolutely work on my Etsy sight.

www.blythespiritsjewelry.etsy.com

My biggest hurdle is the pictures for my sight. My camera does not want to cooperate and keeps eating batteries. My roomie has a camera but I do not want to play with the settings. The pictures for Etsy need to be smaller in size and so you are better off with a low end camera. I am working on it, but I acknowledge that it is my biggest hurdle.

My last fair was a last minute one. The church across the street from my apartment on Granville provided me with a last minute table and so I was able to make enough yesterday to fund the basics for holiday baking. Not sure how many boxes of cookies I will wind up mailing this year, the cost per box is about $10-15, but the locals are safe. My mailing priorities are based primarily on the speed at which prior recipients have acknowledged receipt of their previous packages. In other words, those who couldn't be bothered to respond without a follow-up email have been chopped from the list. Sorry, I can't afford to be ignored this year....LOL

This year, it is looking like all my gifts will be handmade items. So, expect jewelry, baked goods, ornaments, etc. I already know that baked goods is the number one request, so don't bother with the tons of emails suggesting I give more baked goods.

I came, I saw, I annoyed Rahm Emanuel

2010-11-28T12:57:00.001-08:00

My original plans were to fly out first thing Monday morning so I could be back in town on Monday early enough to put in a 10 hour day if I was working. On Sunday, I spent a portion of the day seeing if there was a way to delay my flight and spend some more time in DC with Dean on Monday. Because I booked through travelocity.com, I could not change my flight without stiff penalties. So, I went to work on figuring out how I was going to get from Silver Springs, MD to BWI airport. My flight left at 6::50 am so I knew it would suck to get up early enough to catch my flight. I called a number of shuttle services and most of them didn't have a driver or wanted almost as much for a ride as I would have paid to change my flight. At 10:00pm the shuttle I had booked informed me that they were canceling the shuttle for lack of a driver. It was not until 11:00pm Sunday night that I was able to secure a shuttle to the airport that would pick me up at the hotel at 0400 hours. That is pronounced, "O four hundred and the O stands for OMG it's early!" I showered, put on my clothes I was wearing for the flight, set the timer for 3:45am and crawled into bed.

So, it is now butt crack of dawn, I have had no sleep and no coffee and I am at BWI airport. I did not find a Starbucks but I bought a cup of coffee that was half-caff, thinking I would try to catch a nap on the plane. So, here I am sitting in the waiting area near my gate at BWI, looking and feeling like the all American girl, and in walks this guy who looks familiar. It took a few minutes for me to realize the little guy in the jeans, running shoes and parka, carrying a backpack, was in fact Rahm Emanuel. I sat there for a few minutes before I realized I could not help myself and had to at least say hello.

I approached him and told him I had to know if he was running or not. Remember, this was before he announced. I said I wanted to know if he was planning to run for Mayor of Chicago and he asked me if I was "dying" to know. I told him I was just curious and had considered throwing my hat in the ring as well. He told me I should run too as everyone else was running. I asked if he knew who else might be running and he mentioned Mosely-Braun, Meeks, Dart and I just chuckled. I told him that I felt it was my job to keep the candidates toes to the fire on the important issues. At this point, I could feel the crazy bell going off in my head, but there was no stopping me and I wasn't getting any more coherent.

I told him the first thing I would do as mayor was to take away all the cars/drivers for the top executives in the city government. The ONLY person who really needs a car and driver is the mayor himself. I resent the fact that people like the members of the Chicago Public School Board had drivers and cars. I consider this a matter of fraud, waste and abuse. Also, for the amount of money this city spends on flowers, they need to plant more edible stuff for the soup kitchens. He was chuckling and trying desperately to ignore the crazy lady when I gave him my parting shot. I told him that in the words of Ralph Nader, if he wanted my vote, he had to earn it as I would NOT just give it to him.

After a few more sips of coffee, I came to realize I had beat the man over the head with my crazy stick and I sounded like an idiot. Most who know me will say that I am passionate about my causes, but that I am also very intelligent and highly articulate. So, after they loaded him into the plane first (no, he did not fly first class), I told him that he should stay in DC and do what he did best, which was to be a pit-bull for the pres and continue to provide him with plausible deniability. I also told him that the job of mayor may not last past one term as the city was shaken by the news and might expect too much too soon.

Rahm thinks I am nuts, I think he has decided that he is the most deserving of the position, that he is entitled to take the job if he wants it and it is a foregone conclusion that he wins if he runs. I say F that shit and we need to nail down ALL the candidates not on the issues but on their ideas for solutions.

The City of Chicago is a great city. The city has run for, what seems like forever, on its "machine politics". "Machine politics" consists of the usual pay-for-play things that have been going on forever. I was raised on Chicago politics and know that it has nothing to do with what you know or what you can do, but who you know and what they can do for you. Mutual gratification at the expense of the city treasury. The first thing they ALL do when they get in office is to put their family, friends and supporters into well paying positions that they are likely not qualified to hold (think Stroger Jr.). The city is like a car and we have been driving it into the ground without stopping to change the oil. The city needs an oil change, NOT just a new driver.

I went, I saw, I rallied on the Mall part II the Rally

2010-11-15T08:42:00.001-08:00

We were late getting out the door of the hotel on Saturday, but with these kinds of things, if you are not there at O dark thirty, or butt crack of dawn, you are not sitting in the front row anyways. I am getting up in years and I was not up to a 3:30am wake-up call. We moved slowly but surely to the Metro and headed downtown. My only problem was that there is a Starbucks RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the Metro station but the Metro is as clean as it is because they will arrest your ass for eating/drinking on the train. With a heavy heart, and far too little caffeine, we went downtown.

I had map quested the journey beforehand, but the crowds tended to agree to get off at the Metro Center stop. There appeared to be a great deal of confusion as to where the actual rally was to be held but I was sure the crowd was headed to the wrong end of the mall. We got off with the crowd at Metro Center and headed out of the subway instead of connecting to another train. As we headed for the mall, I found a Starbucks whose line never moved. Seriously, you know a million gazillion people are headed to the mall for a rally and you have ONE person working the Starbucks?? Really???!?? A second one came out from the back room or restroom, but the line never moved. I finally gave up and in true tourist fashion, we stopped at a truck and bought hot dogs and diet sodas for breakfast.

We arrived at the mall about 10:30 and I forced us into a spot about 1/4 of the way back from the stage. We could see the stage and the people on it, but the jumbotron behind the first like 25 rows (?) of people blocked most of the action for us. Fortunately, there were speakers and a jumbotron a few yards in front of us so we saw and heard EVERYTHING! After we camped out in our spot, I made the brave journey forth to buy souvenirs, figuring that by the end of the rally all the good shit would be long gone. Noone was sure how big this thing was gonna be so I went with my original theory of ginormous. I was right. By the time I got back from buying schwag, it was 11:30 ish and the crowd appeared to go all the way back to the reflecting pond at the other end of the mall. Crowd estimates of 200,000 were on the light side of the guess and not the far side.

What pleased me the most about the entire experience were the people we met. Yes, there were some angry radicals from both sides. The kind that truly believe the louder you yell the saner you appear. Also, volume is directly connected to accuracy of your facts. But, for the most part, the crowd was composed of really cool people just looking to hang out and have a good time. There was a great deal of debate about what this rally was supposed to "mean". I don't know that it was ever supposed to "mean" anything, but instead, provided an opportunity for a large number of like minded individuals to get together to show D.C. that we were out there and would not shut up and go away. You can go to just about any site and find pictures of the signs that people carried. Most of them were very true, very funny and highly irreverent.

Where we were standing, and yes, we pretty much stood for hours (although I sat down a bit too), we were in the middle of groups of friends that came together. One large group to the left called themselves, "Mothers Against Insanity (?) Doing Something". The shirts acknowledged that yes, they were the MAIDS, but the back of the shirts said, "Don't worry, the moms are here." Priceless! The group to the right of us was a smaller group of hippy moms who, may or may not, have had small plastic baggies in their purses, and who passed around small bottles of hootch and chocolate candies. The moms on our left and the hippy moms on the right hooked us up with snacks, sunscreen and a few laughs.

For anyone who did NOT attend or watch the rally on TV, I will simply say that I am hoping like hell they release the thing on DVD. I won't bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that the entire rally could best be characterized by the moment in which Jusef Islam (formerly Cat Stevens) was singing "Peace Train" only to be interrupted by Ozzy Osborne with "Train to Hell(?)". Yeah, it was like that.

My complaints about the rally had nothing to do with the rally itself. I had lived outside D.C. and worked in D.C. for a few years, so I was very familiar with how things run when there is a march or rally in the city. What shocked and amazed me was the fact that the city seemed totally unprepared for what hit them. It was as if they had NEVER experienced a large rally before in their lives. AND, the Marine Corps Marathon was that weekend as well and their heads were still up their asses about that one. The Metro ran very few trains AND they were running really short trains. Even the CTA runs extra trains with more cars when there is a Cubs or Sox game. I know they had no real clue about how many were coming, but even I knew that there would be more like 200,000 people. The next day I heard that on a regular Saturday, WITHOUT an event, they could expect about 200,000 people riding the Metro before 3:00pm. The day of the rally they had over 400,000 through in that time. It took us HOURS to get home because we had to wait for trains. The ONLY advantage to going to the wrong end of the mall, and keep in mind those people could not see or hear the rally, was that they got on the trains before the attendees did so they got home earlier.

Next post, the day after and THE moment with Rahm.

I went, I saw, I rallied on the mall! Part I, the journey

2010-11-03T07:36:00.000-07:00

I am finally rested enough to talk about my exciting grand adventure to D.C. I am sorry to start this off by saying it was a sh*t storm in this country last night so now we need to start digging ourselves out from under it. I blame the Dems for not getting much done while they were "in charge", but I also blame the country for giving the keys back to the asswipes who wrecked the country while they were in charge. In the words of Tim Gunn, make it work people.

Off the podium, now we can begin.

The minute Stewart and Colbert announced they were holding a rally on the mall, I announced I would be there. I wasn't sure what the message/purpose of the rally/rallies was, but I knew I would be there. When I informed the roomie that I was going, he was quick to jump on the train for the ride. No pun intended, we actually took the Amtrak train to D.C. Dean booked a sleeper so I just had to pay for my train fare. Apparently, when you book a sleeper, your meals are included. The secret is to find the sleeper lounge in the Amtrak station so you will get special boarding priority and so you can book a reservation for your first meal in the dining car. The food was pretty good, but because we were not the first in line for breakfast, they ran out of food and we had to wait for first seating at lunch.

The train was FULL of folks attending the rally so a good time was had by all. The compartment itself was smaller then I thought but was roomy enough, after you settled in, to be quite comfortable. Dean had said he wanted the top bunk, but upon entry it was clear that; a) he wouldn't fit, b) there was no window, c) there was no way in hell he would have fit. There are bathrooms in the hall and they have a shower in them. Yeah, good luck with that. I had already planned ahead by taking a shower right before I left for the train. The bed was very narrow and not bad. The top bunk dropped down and the two facing seats fold down to form the bottom bunk. Tip to the traveler, ask for extra pillows! In case you were wondering, they come by your roomette and put your beds together for you and then come back in the morning and fold them back up.

We were 2.5 hours late into D.C. due to an accident on the tracks from a prior train. No clue where this was, it was like midnight in the middle of nowhere. We pulled into Union Station in D.C. and were able to take the Metro to Silver Spring, MD, to our hotel. While a part of me was sad to be so far from the mall, it was nice to get away from the madness to a quiet place at the end of the day.

Tomorrow, the rally.

Exercise is Dangerous!

2010-10-25T12:22:00.000-07:00

I was out biking today and I noticed 2 buses stopped in front of me. I would make it between the buses and the cars if the bus doors were closed. So, I slowed to a crawl and waited until all of the passengers were off the bus and the bus doors all closed to make the attempt to pass the bus. Needless to say, one last customer waited until I was moving to demand to get off the bus and I guess you could say I got "doored". I was barely able to miss the bus doors, but I did manage to crash into the curb and the car parked next to the bus. My chain came off the bike and I peed my pants, but I escaped with my life and no major damage.

Candide INDEED!

2010-10-18T13:32:00.000-07:00

I had only barely heard of the musical Candide before. Dean asked me if I was interested in attending the show and I was quick to say of course! Apparently it has quite the history, that constitutes a soap opera in and of itself. The show, at the Goodman, was SPECTACULAR! Our little Piccolo can put on some great shows, but there is nothing quite like a professional Broadway style event to make you realize that neighborhood theatre is just that, from the hood. Sighs.

Bruises, regrets and kismet

2010-10-14T08:40:00.000-07:00

I woke the other day to find a large bruise on one of my thighs. This is NOT a TMI moment, because I bruise like a Georgia peach and I wake up with bruises all the time and can't remember them. I once woke up with what looked like little paw prints on my chest and sure enough, that night when I went to bed and Miss Kitty stood on my chest, I realized, they were actually little paw prints. So, I woke up to find a bruise on my thigh and could not figure out where this came from. Having errands to run, I dragged my bike out of the basement and when I went to get on said bike, WHAM! I hit my thigh in almost the exact same spot on my bike. It appears that for my own health and safety I had to relocate my water bottle holder to a safer position on my bike. Note to self, fill water bottle and take it with you when you leave the house. A water bottle does you no good at home empty. Mystery solved.

While riding my bike, I realized that the one thing I regretted about the whole cancer gravy train thing was that I did not make more efforts to walk and work out while I was down for the count. I have gained back the weight I lost and then some and I am not comfortable. I need to get off my ass and get moving, but the motivation level around here is nil. I must say that since buying a bike I actually love to ride, and that actually fits my size, I love riding I just don't do it enough. I need someone to start cracking the whip!

Speaking of bikes, I have been telling myself to buy a bell for the bike. It is like a car horn, until you need it, you don't need it. I have looked online and at bike shops and not found anything I liked. Recently, I had volunteered for a bike rally thing and it served to remind me that I needed a bell. Oh yeah, and a helmet. Imagine my surprise when a box arrived yesterday and in it was a thank you letter from the bike rally organizers and, a bell. :-)

Where is the Pink????

2010-10-11T09:44:00.000-07:00

I have now been to Walgreens, Dominick's, Jewel, Target, Wal Mart, you name it and I am NOT seeing the love/pink this year. I used to think that the entire world turned pink for the month of October for breast cancer awareness. Now, I feel like the world forgot. I was trying to find pink ribbon M&M's for my party or some other pink wrapped candy and I was very hard pressed to find anything other then those awful pink disk things they try to pass off as mints. I am sad, to say the least.

A new page

2010-09-22T12:21:00.000-07:00

September 27 will be 2 years from the date of my first fateful mammogram. No clue how I will spend the day, but I do want to spend some time reflecting.

I took my wig and some others that were given me, along with the baby caps I had, over to an organization that used to be called "Why Me Org." They were grateful for the donation and I was glad I could pass it forward.

Apparently I will be the first one, in my of my various circles of friends, to turn the big 50. That is not this February, but 2012. One friend suggested going on a cruise and getting together as many friends as possible to join us for said cruise. In mulling this option, I decided that I don't think I want to do that. The number one reason would be that I would be the only person on the cruise going as a solo so I would have to be a third wheel in someone else room. (Very heavy sigh)

One way only?

2010-09-09T08:24:00.000-07:00

I was reading the Tribune online the other day and happened upon the photos of the Muslims protesting the possible future burning of copies of the Quran. The first thing that struck me about the picture was the fact that almost all of the signs were in English (the protest was happening in another country), and they appeared to have been professionally printed. I thought to myself, "My, how organized." I understand that they would be upset with the notion of someone burning something they hold sacred, but I seem to recall large numbers of people in the Middle East burning American flags and our politicians, in effigy.

In America, we hold the flag up as a symbol of freedom and as a source of national pride. BUT, we also hold that the right to freedom of speech and religion allows for the burning of flags and bibles and people in effigy as a constitutional right. So, when they burn our flag, that is ok but if we burn something of theirs that is wrong? While the flag may not be a "religious" symbol, although the far right equates patriotism with religious ferver, it is a sacred symbol. If we were going over there to burn a Quran, that would be a whole different thing. The fact that it is happening on American soil is testiment to the fact that it can happen in this country.

I have no problems with any religion, but if we have to respect your religion and customs, you have to respect ours. The only thing I can think at this point is that some people need to take a chill pill and learn a little tolerence. What if we are all wrong and there is no God at all? All those people who have killed in the name of religion are gonna feel pretty stupid, don't you think?

Ah, the memories...

2010-08-30T08:29:00.001-07:00

I have posted a few pics of Ian's graduation to Facebook and the rest have been uploaded into the pics on my profile. It was amazing that Ian and I could relate about the "good times" at boot camp. Although his boot camp was a great deal more vigorous and 100 times more physically challenging, we were able to share our little stories and bond. Ian thanked me for teaching him the trick of laying under your bed with your fingers laced in the springs to catch a quick nap on the floor. If anyone catches you napping, you were merely squaring away the sheets under the bed and they cannot really yell at you for trying to keep your bed extra sharp looking. He did not use my hint of going to church to nap, as he found it far easier to just crawl under his bed.

Ian said he enjoyed the experience and felt he was better for it. I said that I was happiest knowing I was finished and would not have to do it again. We both agreed that the best two words to describe boot camp, in any branch, are sleep deprived!

Sideways

2010-08-28T14:58:00.000-07:00

I was having a difficult time falling asleep a few weeks back and I found myself turning sideways on the bed. I didn't think much of it the first time, but when I realized it was becoming a reoccuring thing, it gave me pause. It was like whenI was constipated and figured that taking off my clothes and being naked would somehow help matters. I chaulked it up to some sort of weird primal thing and just went with it. The other night it finally dawned on me that by turning sideways, I was moving out of the hot spot in search of a cooler spot on the bed. Because I only have a double, there is no cool side so I was turning sideways.

A Better Time

2010-08-20T08:00:00.000-07:00

My first night of bootcamp, I ran (read walked) half a mile and then they tested us to provide us with a baseline. I ran (again, read walked) 1.0 miles, half a mile at a time, did 40 deep knee bends (allegedly), did 30 killer sit-ups (allegedly), 20 push-ups (not even going to pretend on this one), and 10 squat thrusts (kinda). My time was 23:18 minutes. I barely did any of the exercises and I pretty much walk most of the way. I was a hurting cowgirl for 2 days following that little "test". But, I survived and kept going back for more.

Last night was our "final exam". I was able to mostly run the entire 1.5 miles, do all of the exercises, albeit not as well as the young kids, and live to tell the tale. I had the most improved time. My new time was 18:30. Not bad for the fat old lady bringing up the rear huh? The young kids who were able to keep up with all the exercises barely improved their times. Some shaved as little as 10 seconds off their time. This only confirms my theory that, for the most part, the kids in the class were not all that bad off to begin with.

Next stop is yoga. I bought yet another Groupon and will try my hand at yoga. This ties into my long-term fitness goals that started by purchasing a yoga mat 2 years ago and a bag to carry my mat in last year. Baby steps, don't wanna hurt myself by going to fast. After all, who in their right mind would sign up for a fitness bootcamp that starts at the end of July in an outdoor park?

Head Down

2010-08-18T10:35:00.001-07:00

They keep yelling at me in bootcamp to run with my head up. I find myself looking down at the path directly in front of me. I find that I prefer to see the steps in front of me then to look up and realize I am not even close to the end of my journey. It seems to be a habit I developed while doing the whole BC thing. Rather then realize that the whole process of 3 surgeries, 8 doses of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation, would take a whole year to complete, I tried to think of just one thing at a time. How much longer to the next procedure? How many doses had I completed and how many I had remaining. By keeping my eyes on only the next procedure/dose/step, I was able to stay focused and not panic. It is the same when I am working out. By keeping my eyes focused on the next few steps I can keep going at my slow but steady pace.

I am not the fastest, but I always finish, even if it is in last place. I accept this. The other thing that helps motivate me is the fact that I am almost twice as old as everyone else in the class. I could be their mother. Considering my age, condition and myriad of medical issues, I think I am doing pretty damned good. I hope to use this momentum to keep going and lose some serious weight. I sat on my fat ass long enough for 3 people, so it is time to get moving and stay moving.

Stupid Ideas

2010-08-11T11:17:00.000-07:00

People traveling to India for medical procedures have brought back to Britain a new gene that allows any bacteria to become a superbug, and scientists are warning this type of drug resistance could soon appear worldwide.

WHO IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD THINK ABOUT GOING TO INDIA OR PAKISTAN FOR MEDICAL PROCEDURES????? That is the BEST place you can think of to go for a tummy tuck??? REALLY?

Fitness bootcamp update

2010-08-11T08:11:00.000-07:00

I was able to go to acupuncture last night and was hoping for a reallllly good nights sleep. No such luck. I was woken up at least twice hot as hell and sweating like a horse. Oh well, maybe it will be better tonight? One must keep up the hope part of their life.

Fitness bootcamp is tonight and it is hot and muggy out. The part that sucks the most is the bugs. I am not just talking millions of mosquitos, I am talking those damned biting flies. It is hard to think about working your muscles properly when a small creature is biting them. Oh well, this week and next and then I am going to try yoga. Yoga is indoors, does not involve running and is supposed to be better for me. We shall see.

Night Sweats

2010-08-10T06:00:00.000-07:00

GF, I now feel your pain! I can go to bed at 9, wake up at 8:30 and still not feel rested even with a sleeping pill. With everything going on in my life, and all of the house guests, acupuncture has taken a back seat. As soon as my Michael leaves I am back on that horse.

Stupid People

2010-08-09T12:25:00.000-07:00

I was reading the news and came across two stories that back my claim that stupidity should be the test for procreating.

A woman was pulled from the lake in the early morning hours by fishermen when the group she was partying with on a boat decided to ALL jump off the boat at 1:30 am to go for a swim. Apparently the boat floated away and it looks like 2 of the four drowned. First of all, drinking and boating REALLY don't mix any more then drinking and driving. Second of all, I thought it was basic common boating sense to either a) anchor the boat before ALL jumping off or b) leaving one idiot behind to rescue the others or at least call for help.

A man, fleeing the scene of an accident, blew a stop sign and crashed into.........wait for it..........a police car. The cop has his police lights activated at the time. The man was charged with aggravated DUI, reckless driving, etc. It doesn't say what time the accident happened, but it is my guess, it was after 10:00 pm. Which reminds me of another story.

A young high school student was killed by a drunk driver as he pedaled home from a convenience store. The student was a good kid, well liked and apparently doing well in school. He was struck and killed around 1:30 am.

Every single time I read the papers about someone getting robbed, shot, mugged, etc., the first thing I do is note the time of the crime. Almost EVERY SINGLE TIME the incident occurs after 10:00 pm (more like after midnight) and before 6:00 am. What is it with stupid people and being out after dark? Does the darkness beget stupidity or merely attract it?

All of these incidents are tragic, but tragically, they were all avoidable. Who the hell goes out boating on a lake at 11:30 pm? REALLY?

This just in: Two teens were shot over the weekend after a confrontation between two groups in downtown Evanston, police said. The teens, 16 and 17, were discovered at about 11:42 p.m. Saturday at the intersection of Benson Avenue and Davis Street, said Evanston Police Commander James Pickett.

I REST MY CASE!

I live another day

2010-08-08T18:19:00.000-07:00

So far, almost 2 weeks (3 classes a week, 5 actually attended) and I they have not manged to kill me yet. It isn't like they haven't tried, but so far, I live to tell another tale. Most of the class members are in the early to mid 20's. One of my coworkers joined the class with me and he is in his early 30's. He is barely able to keep up with the rest of the class. He was surprised to see that I was staying abreast of the class (every pun intended) and I explained to him that I was managing to keep up because I don't do the same exercises as the rest of the class and I cheat like hell. I have pulled my cancer/chemo card out of storage and taped it to my forehead. I have not done any exercise in over a year and nothing really physical either. I have no upper body strength left because just about all of the muscles in my chest were sliced and I wasn't doing any upper body work.

So, my secret is that I do a modified version of the exercises they assign and I cheat like hell. When the instructors are not looking I am walking or standing. If they are told to do 30 reps, I may do 25. No matter how I do it, I will just keep doing it for another 2 weeks. My next step is yoga. I got a groupon for 4 weeks of unlimited yoga. We shall see.

Bringing up the rear

2010-07-26T19:32:00.000-07:00

I started my first day of fitness boot camp and I have to say I hate the person who invented this shit. My worst fears were realized when I was, in fact, the fat lady who was the last one to cross the finish line. We ran 1/2 a mile, had our introduction to boot camp, ran another 1/2 mile, did 40 deep knee bends, 30 sit ups, 20 push-ups, and 10 of those frog things where you drop down, kick your legs up and hop back up. After that, we ran yet another 1/2 mile. I will neither admit nor deny that I kept an accurate count of my calisthenics, but I did as best I could. I was the last person to cross the finish line by a good 3 minutes and I am happy to report that they cheered me on. I explained the whole cancer/chemo (gravy train ride) thing, and I further explained that I would not quit but I would do the best I was able to do and that was not going to make me first across the finish line. I found the running hurt the lungs more then it tired out my legs and the push-ups were hard on the upper body after barely lifting things for a very long time.

That which does not kill us will just hurt like hell for a very long time. I will go back for more punishment on Wednesday and Thursday this week. I have 3 classes a day for the next 4 weeks.......really??

More stuff I did not know

2010-07-23T10:15:00.000-07:00

I have known for a while that you should drink water at room temperature in order to hydrate more quickly. When you drink really cold water your body has to warm it up before it can be used. What I did not know is that the act of drinking ice water will aggravate the hot flashes by upsetting the body's normal temp. I knew that air conditioning was not the best alternative, but I did not know that having a fan blow on you directly will dry you off while helping close the body's pores. By closing pores, you are again upsetting the body's natural cooling systems. Of course, the Chinese herbalist/acupuncturist telling me this was a man who has never experienced a hot flash. All good in theory I guess.

The summer heat and working dogs

2010-07-18T07:43:00.001-07:00

I know you are NOT supposed to touch, pet or otherwise interfere with a seeing eye dog while his/her harness is attached. What about offering the owner water for the dog? I was on the train the other day and a woman entered with her dog. The dog did not seem to want to sit/lay down (actually, I wouldn't want to touch the floor of an L train either) but when it finally lay down, it was obvious the dog was hot. It was panting frantically. I had an empty container after bringing a salad to work and a bottle of water in my bag. I was across the aisle so I could not lean in and ask. Was I wrong to not ask her if she would have liked a bowl of water for her dog? When I exited the train, I encountered a man waiting at the bus stop with his dog. Should I have stopped and offered his dog a drink? I don't know what the protocol is and I did not want to offend anyone, but it was hotter the hell outside and the dogs just seemed to want or need a drink.

Oh no, not again

2010-07-17T10:41:00.000-07:00

I came home last night, after a long stressful week, and after I finished vacuuming cat litter from the sun porch I hopped into the shower. What I saw in the mirror almost brought me to tears. After years of fighting them I really thought I had put them behind me. I am talking about the rashes I used to get under and between my boobs. They are heat rashes. Imagine my surprise to find one. I realize it may be aggrevated by both the extreme heat outside and my poor posture inside, but really?

The Catholic church OFFICIALLY hates women

2010-07-11T07:32:00.001-07:00

I have known this for years, but their last official policy statement should confirm this for the entire world.

I shall start at the beginning. Back in 1995, during the United Nations' International Conference on Women and Children in Beijing, China, the Vatican exerted a great deal of time and effort bringing the entire conference to a screeching halt as it argued over one paragraph in the report that they were preparing. The entire report was thousands of pages and the Vatican would not let anyone do anything because they objected to that one single paragraph. The paragraph simply said that as to the issue of abortion, each country had to decide for themselves and deal with the issue as they saw fit for their own country.

The Vatican also said that women had no right to say no to their husbands when they wanted sex. It was part of the wife's duties to sexually gratify her husband. The man does not have to gratify his wife's requests for sex because that is not part of his duties to provide for his family. Don't forget the couple cannot use birth control...EVER!

It was at that point I was able to simply wash my hands of the church, run by men, and walk away. The fact that they had been engaging in an ongoing conspiracy to obstruct justice by hiding pedophiles was more then mere icing on the cake, it was res ipsa loquitor.

Now, the church, run by men, has officially declared that to ordain women as priests is to commit as great a sin as sexually molesting children. REALLLLLLLY??????

Sometimes, the world conspires

2010-07-10T12:49:00.000-07:00

On Thursday I went for acupuncture fully prepared to sit and wait for hours in the crowded waiting room. Imagine my pleasure in finding the waiting room almost empty at 6:30. I thought I might not have enough time to eat the salad I brought for supper. Of course I was there until after 9:30 and being cash poor (the night before payday) I had to take the redline home.

The one up side to my 4 week nightmare cold from hell was that my body was too busy fighting the cold to engage in much hot flash activity. My hot flashes are back with a vengeance and seem to be trying to make up for lost time. Oh well, with the weather being what it is I no longer stand out when I whip out my fan. Gravy train!

Potential Clients

2010-07-05T07:28:00.000-07:00

First of all, I have to say I was thrilled to death to have an old friend come to time and spend time catching up. I miss my NM friends and can't wait to see all of them. Apparently the Catie Blythe memorial guest room may be occupied so I will call ahead and see what is up when I am free to roam about the country. My passport is still being held hostage by the state of Hell.

Last night I attended my first fireworks off the pier by my house. It was wonderful being able to walk there and back and not deal with huge crowds or public transportation. Now to the potential clients part. When I was doing criminal defense work, I found myself muttering, like a mantra, "Stupid people pay my rent. Stupid people pay my rent." It was my experience that criminal clients were not evil, awful, sociopaths, but they were just average people who tended to be really stupid or who did reallllllly stupid things. One of the first things that comes to mind is driving on a suspended license. Unless you are really living in a bubble and it was suspended for something like failing to get your emissions done (this happens all the time and most people honestly did not realize it would happen), when you KNOW you have 25 unpaid tickets or you KNOW you were arrested for DUI, you KNOW your license is suspended and you have no excuses for being caught driving. My favorite "excuse" is that they didn't know that being suspended meant they could not drive at all. Really?

So, stupid people. Last night at the beach there were at least two groups of folks shooting off what appeared to be professional grade fireworks. We were actually quite impressed and it even appeared that one group knew what it was doing and was doing it behind a fenced in area. The rest were questionable at best. One group seemed to manage to launch all their fireworks on a horizontal plane over the lake. Not a problem if there had not been quite a few people in the water swimming at the time. Then there were the idiots who held on to sparking tubes that apparently were supposed to launch missile like projectiles. More then one of them almost got burned when the flame started to travel down the tube they were holding towards their hand. Parents will all tell you not to play with fireworks because you will blow off your hand or shoot your eye out. So, even though there were still some pretty impressive amateur fireworks going off, we chose to leave so that someone else would not shoot our eyes out.

A number of the other attorneys at work got offended when I referred to my criminal clients as "stupid people." However, the one guy who had previously worked as a public defender had to agree that for the most part, the clients were stupid.

Little things

2010-06-27T18:27:00.000-07:00

My hair does whatever it wants now. I seem to have perpetual bed head and all of the sudden I have a tiny curl on each of my sideburns. It is the funniest looking thing I have seen in a while. They are two little tiny curls. Oh well, hair by chemo.

I seem to be having a another bout of phantom itches. I have gotten back a bit of the feelings on each of my sides, but at times my boobs itch but I cannot necessarily feel it when I scratch it and scratching it doesn't necessarily relieve the itch. Oh well, at least it is not a missing limb.

I am finally beginning to feel better. It has been 3 weeks and it appears I may be nearing the end of my cold. My ears are still clogged and haven't popped since I left Texas. Did I mention that Texas smells like a swamp? I spent almost the entire weekend in bed with my CLE courses on my laptop and that may have helped push me to the other side of the mountain. I am off to bed early tonight and then plan to put in a 9 hour day tomorrow before my board meeting tomorrow night. Have to make hay while the sun shines.

Open mouth, insert foot

2010-06-23T18:59:00.000-07:00

I love that the CEO of BP, Tony Hayward, spent the weekend at a yachting event in the small portion of the ocean that they have apparently managed to not destroy yet. I say give them time. But seriously, of ALLLLLLL the things he could have done to spend time with his family......sailing on the ocean or watching a yacht race? Really? This is the man who was quoted as saying he wanted his life back. Tell that to the people who make a living off the ocean his company just ruined. But, isn't it really all about giving the shareholders a good return on their investment dollars?

This country stands for the right to have your own opinions and to express those opinions. Free speech is a cornerstone of all that America stands for. The only speech that is not protected is speech that is meant to start a public riot. The best example is shouting fire in a crowded movie theater. The exception to the free speech rule comes in play when you join the military. You have the right to your own opinion about anything and everything. You can think the President is an idiot, BUT, you cannot share that opinion with the press. The President, like him or not, is your Commander in Chief and as such, is in charge. To speak ill of your superiors is considered insubordination. To voice your negative opinions of any of your leaders to the press, especially if you are the guy in charge of the unit, is gross insubordination. To put it into perspective, imagine what would happen to you at work if you said the sorts of things that were said to your boss. Better yet, how well would it go over if you put it in the company newsletter? Yeah, it is like that.

The old and the new

2010-06-15T11:56:00.000-07:00

Having been to court today, I was reminded in no uncertain terms that stupid people keep criminal defense attorneys employed. I don't like to deal with them, but I have to thank them for their existence.

Last night I was surprised to receive a text from Ian. He was sitting in St. Louis and just wanted to say hi. Kaz quickly informed me that Fort Leonard Wood was still another 3 hours south of St. Louis so Ian was in for a long bus ride. My only advice for him was to SLEEP every single available second he had because as soon as his feet hit the ground he could count on being severely sleep deprived for the next 9 weeks. Poor kid, he said it was too cold to sleep on the bus.

I have now had custody of Michael's old cold for over a week. I am no longer convinced I am dying, or begging for the relief death would offer, but I am still thinking it sucks to be me every time I cough.

BP is still f'ing up the clean-up and trying to pretend it isn't really all that bad. As Bill Maher said, it was all just a conspiracy by pelicans to get a free bath.

There isn't really anything new to report, but the title was catchy.

Where to begin?

2010-06-09T08:49:00.000-07:00

I have now managed to graduate one of my two children. Yes, I actually touched his diploma and verified with the principal that it was a valid diploma. As for the trip itself, I would not know where to begin. Let's just say that I loved spending time with my boys and Texas is hell. If the "great" state of Texas wants to secede from the union, I say here's your hat, what's your hurry and don't let the door hit ya on the ass on your way out.

It was truly the most surreal experience I have had in a very long time. I only have to go back to Texas to do this one more time and then I will be done with it all. Ian has become quite the young adult and will be shipping out to boot camp on June 13. After that, he will continue on to his job training and then return home. Apparently I misunderstood his situation and he will be an Army Reservist and not Active Duty Regular Army. He has volunteered for a stint in Afghanistan but can not go anywhere until he finishes basic and training.

I know my biatch posse has my back and knows exactly how to handle a mother who has shipped her son into war. Hopefully we won't have to exercise our great talents.

The "A" word

2010-05-28T07:25:00.000-07:00

Appalling? Apocalyptic? Awesome? Words being used to describe the oil disaster include; heartbreaking, total destruction of the marine ecosystem, horrific, impossible, amazing, startling, shocking, arresting and upsetting. Mere words cannot begin to describe the shock and awe of this catastrophic disaster. The word that is being bandied about the most about the oil spill is accountability. Everyone agrees that BP should be held accountable for everything that has happened and take full responsibility for the billions that will be needed to clean this mess up, or at least make a full press effort to clean up THEIR mess.

The one word that seems to have escaped the war of words is...."AVOIDABLE"

It is my understanding that BP bypassed the safety concerns of its employees and took the cheap way out to get at the oil at the bottom of the ocean. We need to acknowledge the 500 pound purple gorilla in the middle of the room. Really?

A BED!

2010-05-28T07:20:00.001-07:00

I now have a full sized adult bed. I had no clue that 15" could make a girl so happy to be alive! Apparently a full is about 15" wider then a twin and what a world of difference that 15" makes! Miss Kitty can now take her half from the middle and I still have room to remain in the bed. NO ONE will fall off and it feels good to be able to spread out again. I have purchased 1" risers for under the feet so all of my storage boxes are able to fit underneath to make more storage space in my tiny room. The other great thing about a full is that my queen sized comforters and bedspreads fit perfectly on the full. The only downside to this grand bed adventure is the fact that the mattress I purchased (used) is wayyyy too firm for my tastes. So, like the twin, this is a starter mattress and when I am back to work I will invest in the perfect mattress and platform and ditch the extra height from the box spring. Baby steps for reasonable goals!

Common Sense

2010-05-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

Recently, a group of mothers traveled to Iran to visit their children who had been arrested hiking into Iran from a neighboring country. Iran, of course, arrested them as spies and they claim, of course, that they were just innocently hiking along and happened to stumble into Iran by mistake.

Ok, you are staying in a country that borders a hostile country that may or may not shoot you on sight and you made a mistake and stumbled across the border into this hostile country? REALLY? Common sense says that if you are staying in a country that borders a very hostile country, you would make damned sure you didn't hike TOWARDS the border, but rather AWAY from that border. But that is just me and it makes perfect sense.

A no brainer REALLY?!

2010-05-23T07:36:00.000-07:00

I LOVE the fact that everyone in Washington is spending all this time, money, energy and effort to try and determine how much oil is spilling forth into the Gulf in order to figure out if the oil executives may have lied about the damage they were causing. REALLY???? We know for a fact they lied and misled the government and the public. Does it really matter if we know exactly how much they lied? We know it is bad, how bad it is makes no difference when it comes to playing the blame game. I would think that they would all realize that it is more important to expend more effort cleaning up what is spilling instead of wasting energy and time trying to figuring out how much is spilling at any given moment. I will tell you what to do. Give each an every politician and oil executive a mop, a scoop and a bucket and tell them to argue and point fingers WHILE THEY ARE CLEANING THE SHIT UP! It seemed like a no brainer to me, but maybe that is because I have a brain and a conscience and they have neither.

A bed

2010-05-23T07:20:00.000-07:00

I need a new bed. The twin I was lent has been highly useful and fully functional, but dammit, noone over the age of 10 should have to sleep in a twin sized bed. The rub is that you cannot just swing by Target to pick up a new bed. Anyone who orders a bed by mail is on their own if it is not comfortable. So, a trip to Ikea sounds like a great idea, but most Igo cars are subcompact at best. Once you find a vehicle big enough to haul a full-size box spring and mattress and bed frame, you have to haul it all home and assemble it. Then you must remove the old mattress set, unless you were smart enough to take it out before you bring the new bed home. It makes me tired to just think of it, but every time I crawl into my 3.5' high twin sized bed, I think to myself, dammit, I need a new bed.

Prom is done!

2010-05-19T07:55:00.000-07:00

OMG I forgot what a whirlwind event prom is. Ian came to town to take his gf to prom at Naperville Central. Between the tux and the dress and the flowers and the pics and the shoes.... it tires me to just think about it! We celebrated Ian's birthday yesterday at Olive Garden. Nothing says happy birthday like unlimited soup, salad and breadsticks and waiters singing happy birthday. It was good to see both Ian and the parents and Ian's gf is a cutie. I am glad to see he likes a girl with some meat on her bones and is not dating a stick figure. I am just glad it is all over and will start prepping for graduation in June.

Oh yeah, the smell thing.

2010-05-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

As I went to bed last night, I smelled a cheap cheesy flowery smell and couldn't figure out where it was coming from. Turns out it was my clothes. I ran out of fabric softener sheets while doing laundry so I got a pack of the cheapest ones they had at the neighborhood grocer across the street. You get what you pay for....LOL

OMG my body hates me, and what is that smell?

2010-05-12T07:04:00.001-07:00

I finished moving all my stuff when I unpacked Nikka's car on Monday. I spent all day Saturday moving and 8 hours cleaning and finishing packing on Sunday. I spent most of the day Monday unpacking. Tuesday I spent 3.5 hours at the laundromat washing about 8 large loads of laundry. Bedding, clothes, towels, duvet cover, comforter, etc. I wound up "abandoning" two laundry baskets of stuff that I wouldn't use or didn't want. As I unpack my closet, I am weeding through my clothes, yet again. I am committed to downsizing my life and feel the weight of too much shit lifting off of me every day.

The ONE thing I need to increase is the size of my bed. The whole bed thing is now the stuff of Monty Pythonesque humour. The twin bed sits on a wood platform that allows me to store stuff under the bed. The bed is now 3 feet off the ground. Picture this little, tiny twin that is so tall I have to place my portable safe next to the bed to climb up each night. Yes, it is a total hoot and one of my roommates may or may not have taken pics to post online. I went to the Ikea website and it appears that a full sized bed is the same length as a twin but is 15" wider. I will be able to keep the queen sized comforters and quilts I love while giving Miss Kitty a little more room on the bed. Anyone with a pet will tell you that they take their half out of the middle.

Full steam ahead!

2010-05-06T06:16:00.000-07:00

The move is on! A group of college boys rented my "3 bedroom" apartment, apparently for $1350 a month so I am paying a pro-rated rent amount and moving out on Saturday. Yes, the boys actually saw the place. I was here and they were told, by me, in no uncertain terms, this is not legally a 3 bedroom and that the dishwasher was coming with me. Because they needed the place on May 10, I was willing to accommodate them by moving out on Saturday the 8th. :-)

I still have that last bit of packing to go and Brown Elephant is coming on Friday with a truck for the big stuff that did not sell. Anyone need a dining room table and 6 chairs?

As much as I dread the physical move part, I am looking forward to a fresh start on life.

As a small aside to the fresh new start part, I have a funny (?) aside to mention. Apparently he who must not be named, brought the order for child support to Texas and then demanded that they enforce it because Illinois was taking too long to send the checks or something. Texas did not bother to check with Illinois and because I was paying directly through Illinois, as court ordered, Texas had me $4800 in arrears. I was recently denied a passport as a dead beat parent in Texas, even though Illinois agreed that not only was I current, but I was actually ahead of the game by $178. So, Texas may or may not enforce my order, but the funny part comes in now. IF Texas decides to "enforce" my Illinois order, I would continue to pay my support to Illinois, who then, in turn, would mail the check to Texas, who would then cut a check to him. This will actually slow down the payments by up to a week.

Dates to remember

2010-04-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

Someone asked me the other day what the date was that I was diagnosed with breast cancer. I recall that the date of the first mammogram was on Saturday, September 27, 2008. The following Monday they called me to schedule a second mammogram because they found spots and/or lumps that did not look good. I don't recall what date I went back for the follow-up. As for the actual day I was "diagnosed", I would have to say I do not recall because it seemed like everyone I was talking to at the time, all the doctors anyways, refused to use the "C" word and I was actually the first person to utter the dreaded word itself.

The lumpectomy was performed December 4th(?) and the reduction was performed January 9. Other then that, the rest of the dates are kinda fuzzy. So, I guess the question of when I was diagnosed sparked my follow-up question of, "What is my 'anniversary' date? Do I celebrate being cancer-free? and if so, what date? Having awoken from my year long coma, so to speak, I don't know that I would want to remember most of it, but I feel a small urging in the pit of my tummy to celebrate something. I want to celebrate getting my life back and having much smaller boobs. Do I pick a date for that, and if so, what date do I pick?

Plan Q!

2010-04-27T06:13:00.000-07:00

My latest plan was to move today. I was supposed to have someone else signing a lease and moving in May 1 so I figured I would move in the middle of the week and be done before the madness of May 1 moving day began. May 1 marks the beginning of the summer move cycle so I figured I would beat them to the punch. My landlord has just informed me that he does NOT have a tenant for May 1, may have something to do with the fact he is not showing the place and tells everyone it is not available until June 1, so I am back to the drawing board.

Haven't spoken to Dean yet, did speak to Tony, and my latest plan is to move Sat. May 8. This way, if I am working, I won't have to take any more time off from work to pack and move AND it gives me more time to actually sort through the crap and discard/donate/re-gift!

For the first move in YEARS, I am completely into the downsizing thing. I have thrown out bags and bags of trash, donated box after box of stuff, and sent another 2 large boxes of documents to an industrial shred place. I am not finished yet, but boy have I made headway!

PIGEONS!

2010-04-23T05:45:00.001-07:00

If there is anything that truly disturbs Miss Kitty, it is pigeons. She is skittish around bugs and only things she is "hunting" the squirrels on the window ledge, they have come to mostly ignore her when they are eating peanuts, but pigeons seem to bring her into full blown panic mode. When she sees the pigeons down on the street, she makes weird little chirping noises to indicate she is seeing what is truly a freakishly large flying creature. It is unnaturally large to be a common bird and the big ones are almost as big as Miss Kitty.

Imagine the horror the other day when one landed on the same window ledge that houses the peanuts for the occasional squirrel! The other evening I walked into the kitchen to find her on the window ledge overlooking the back porch. The back porch is an enclosed space that currently resembles a garbage dump...LOL...as I am in the process of packing and that is where I am keeping extra boxes, etc. Miss Kitty has never shown any interest in sitting on the ledge that overlooks the back porch, so her chirping got my attention. Sure enough, there was a pigeon on the back porch! Apparently it flew in the hole in the plastic sheets covering the top half of the porch. So, after a few minutes of laughing, arm flapping and giggling, I was able to open the small window and steer the bird out. Poor Miss Kitty spent most of the evening perched on the ledge making sure there was not another attack.

The next morning, I found her back on the sill, chirping excitedly. Abandoning my coffee, I KNOW! right?!, I headed out back and sure enough, there was another of those flying rats sitting on top of the freezer like it was a perfectly natural place to be. Again, arm flapping, laughing, repeat and rinse. No sooner had I closed the door then Miss Kitty was back to chirping again. Really? I told her the bird was gone but she insisted it was back. Sure enough, yet another bird had flown in. I swear this one waited in the wings. So, three birds later, the porch was clear of the things and I forgot both my coffee and meds before running out the door to catch a ride to work.

So, I found some duct tape and my nephew was kind enough to climb up and tape the hole shut. Poor Miss Kitty cannot handle that much excitement! She is aware that we are likely moving again, but I think she is just pretending otherwise and living in a state of blissful denial. Like mother, like cat.

Tired of the dance.

2010-04-22T05:43:00.000-07:00

It was with great trepidation that I headed West to Loyola yesterday for my mammogram. I don't know why, but this one seemed to bother me. It wasn't that I really thought they would find something, but I just couldn't shake the feeling that I really just didn't want to go.

When I arrived late, I spent very little time waiting before they called me in for my mammogram. I have to tell you, it was less painful and difficult when I had huge tits to smash. Now that I have small ones, it seems they are hell bent on pulling them off my chest to clutch them in the vice grip of death. The huge scar on the right side, from the port being ripped out, hurts like hell when they pull and stretch and squeeze. They went ahead and did both sides because I still had the fluid pocket in the right breast.

For all of my underlying bad vibe feelings, I was not prepared for the afternoon from hell. Yet again, it started with the tech coming back to inform me the doctor wanted more views and different shots to examine "spots" (trust me, their word, not mine) that the radiologist had seen on the first series. The took a new set of completely different angle shots and these hurt like an SOB. I was very relieved when she informed me that I was finished and could wait again. It was now 3:30 (my original appointment having been for 1:20) and any hopes of meeting Amy at the VA to discuss something she wanted me to read for her, were dashed.

After what felt like an eternity, I was told that I would have to have an ultrasound of the right breast because the doctor was concerned with the lump. It was like deja vu all over again! Fortunately, Amy had decided to come over and meet me at Loyola and I took great comfort in knowing she was in the waiting room for me. I just lay on the table with a small sense of dread and a clear knowledge that I was not up to another long drawn battle.

Fortunately, everything is fine. The lump is getting smaller, and while it is taking longer then hoped to dissipate, they do think it will eventually go away. I will live another day to fight the fight. I just hate this particular dance.

Dude, we need to chat!

2010-04-18T06:03:00.000-07:00

The other day I wanted to borrow a friend's car, so, the trade-off is that I give her a ride to/from work. After dropping her off, I planned to visit Trader Joe's to pick up liquor boxes (perfect for books sillies!) and decided that the one at North and Sheffield(ish) was perfect. There is an uber tiny, sorta grungy strip mall at the corner that houses a Starbucks and an NYC Bagel Co., so I figured lox and bagels and coffee OH MY! The tiny strip mall has only about 12 parking spaces and the queen of parking was able to score the only space available. Even engrossed in my own thoughts of bagels and cream cheese, I could not help but notice the well dressed gentleman, in a car about 3 cars down, with a young assistant type standing near by. The well dressed gentleman seemed to be digging around in his files for something. The young assistant type just stood there as this man continued to dig through files, a briefcase and then the back seat of the car. When the hunt continued to the trunk, I was beginning to chuckle.

The entire time I was watching this show, I kept thinking I know this guy from somewhere. At first I thought he might be a lawyer that I had seen in court or who had a television ad. I just kept thinking that I know this guy from somewhere. In the course of the minute or so I had been watching the floor show, I finally noticed the guy with the earpiece. He was one of those well dressed, dark suit, wearing an ear piece mike, kinda guys. All I could think was that this attorney, or whoever he was, had to be either "somebody" or he was paranoid about getting shot. The security guy just kept watching this whole thing with a look on his face that said, "Really?"

If it wasn't suck a dinky, borderline crappy, middle of the street almost kinda place, I don't think I would have noticed. I kept thinking this guy could at least have pulled into the lot at Whole Foods down the street a bit and did this in a back corner. I finally tired of the show and went for my lox and bagels and coffee OH MY.

After an uber fabulous breakfast, I left Starbucks. On my way back to the car I passed two gentlemen, also rather nicely turned out, sitting outside the bagel place chuckling about the idiot and the floor show. I could not help but ask them who the guy was. I knew I knew the guy but could not place him.

It was at that moment that both gentlemen informed me that the well dressed gentleman who was digging through his files in his car like an idiot was our own Governor Pat Quinn.

It is gone.

2010-04-11T07:09:00.000-07:00

I thought I would be a lot sadder to see my wonderful wrought iron bed exit my apartment yesterday, but alas, I was wrong. I was actually glad to see it go. I realized that I had spent wayyyyy too much time in it last year and it was surprisingly therapeutic to see it walk out the door. The only trepidation I experienced was as to attempting to sleep on a twin sized bed. I was not uncomfortable, just afraid I might roll off. Poor Miss Kitty, every time I rolled over, she did roll off the bed. I felt her sleeping at my feet for a while but she was gone, as usual, when I woke up. She knows something is up, and she is NOT happy about it.

The couch is supposed to leave this morning and I must say I will be glad to see it go.

OMG the shower!

2010-04-06T10:57:00.000-07:00

I have an uber fabulous friend who comes to town for business now and then and who gets a hotel room in downtown Chicago. If I am working, it makes my commute 5 minutes via a $5 cab ride instead of 60 minutes for $2.25. You do the math! Recently, my uber fabulous friend booked a room for herself and her husband and child for the weekend at the new Trump hotel in Chicago. I have no use for the man myself, and he totally pissed in the political pot in Chicago by screwing people looking to invest in condos, but when offered an opportunity to stay at his hotel for free, I jumped at the chance. Because the husband had to leave a night early, I was asked to join my friend for an evening at the Trump hotel.

The lobby is sparse and it seems the only colors in the whole joint are shades of brown and white/cream with a bit of green thrown in every great once in a while for contrast. Everything is leather, glass or chrome. Not my style, but it looks simple, and some would say elegant. The rooms were nicer then your average hotel room and there was not a snack you could think of missing from the minibar area. If you don't mind paying $12 for 4 peanuts and $25 for bottled water with bling on it, you will be in heaven. They also give you bottles of just plain old Trump water gratis.

The one thing that horrified and literally pained me was the comfort level of the pull-out couch. Because I have traveled with teen-aged children and large groups,I have spent my fare share of time on fold-out couches. My own such beast, while uncomfy to sit on, is very comfy to sleep on. The fold-out couch at the Trump hotel was hands down the most uncomfortable thing I have ever slept on, including the bunk beds at camp. I guess they figure if you won't pay for a second room, there is absolutely no reason to even pretend they want you to be comfortable.

My friend had informed me that in the 2 days she had already been in the hotel, she had managed to take 3 showers. Upon entering her hotel room, I was immediately in lust with the bathroom. Marble, sunken tub, rain forest type shower head, TV in the mirror, subdued lighting that dimmed, thick towels, bathrobes, slippers, you get the idea. My friend went on to inform me that she had not bothered to take a shower in the room because she had opted to go to the spa instead.

OMG the spa! If you stay at the hotel, you are welcome to use the spa facilities gratis to include the pool, sauna, steam room, gym, and THE SHOWER EXPERIENCE. We splashed in the pool for just a few minutes and then headed to the spa. I started with the sauna while my friend had, "the shower experience". She had oohed and ahhed and gushed about the shower, but I was not quite convinced that I would need to become Trump rich to get one of these things installed in my house. And then, I entered. I entered into a world of pure shower joy! It was better then sex, more relaxing then a massage and more enjoyable then a hot fudge sunday! The shower heads from the ceiling give you the rain forest shower effect and the jets in the wall deliver a pulsing shower massage type experience that would make you deny your own mother! The lights change colors, the temperature rises and falls to heat and then cool you and the pulsing shower just makes you feel better.

Following what had to be about 15 minutes of pure guilt driven pleasure, I was able to make my own salt scrub/lotion/oil blend to take into the regular shower where I was able to give myself a good scrub and shampoo my hair. As I sat in my fluffy robe and comfy slippers, I thought to myself, "Self, you gotta get you one of these and you will never have to look for anything else again to be happy."

Now the work begins

2010-04-03T07:39:00.000-07:00

The roomie is gone, as are all my crackers, cookies and once a year gingerbread pop-tarts. Now the real work begins as I start to sort, downsize, donate and discard what feels like a ton of crap. It is with great joy and trepidation that I begin my move to the farther North side. I am very much looking forward to new roommates and a steady contribution to the rent. Becky, with the exception of her cats (that was Miss Kitty chiming in), was the best roommate I had. She understood the concept of replacing the little things like toilet paper. I was more then willing to supply the paper towels, as some folks call that a luxury item, but come on, we are ALL using the toilet paper...I would hope.

If anyone can think of anything they might need, and have seen in my apartment, for heaven's sakes, just ask. I have craft stuff (Mariah?), I have a fax/copy/scanner, a wire shelving unit, a blender/food processor (Dean AND Tony have really good ones), you name it...so come on down and get it while you can!

Men and Kleenex

2010-03-30T09:53:00.001-07:00

What is it with men and Kleenex? Why do most men refuse to blow their nose and instead snort and grunt like pigs in heat? I work in an enclosed area with up to 10 other people and there is nothing quite as disturbing to my productivity as the random snorting of someone whose parents failed to teach them to blow their nose or who failed to make their teachings stick.

Unlike the steady drip of a leaking faucet, the random snorts are like drive by gun fire. There is no telling when the next loud inhalation of copious amounts of phlegm will occur, so each blast catches one off guard. Some minorities appear to be less inclined to teach their children how to blow their noses. I have seen instances where a grown adult, given a tissue, will gently dab at their obviously dripping appendage and then proceed to snort loudly. I don't complain at first, I simply offer the offender a tissue and gently suggest they need to blow. If I didn't supply a tissue I would have no right to complain. One of the first things I do at a new project is to procure a box of Kleenex for the room, out of my own pocket if necessary, as I understand some people consider Kleenex a luxury item that is outside their normal budget.

Grown adults should know better. I blame the parents for this.

All things considered

2010-03-26T07:35:00.000-07:00

All things considered, my parents are doing pretty damned good. I left for work on Monday and offered to come back but was told they would do ok. Mom seems to be in great spirits and said she did not need my help but appreciated the offer. I will be out there next weekend for Easter.

I cannot wait for the roomie to move out as the happy couple is annoying. I never see them, but the fact that I never know if they are here or not creeps me out. The fact that they have been nibbling away at my food irritates the hell out of me. My sugar free chocolate syrup appears to be awol. Considering I planned to try and make a cherry mocha for breakfast pissed me off. Anyone who knows me and loves me anyways knows that messing with my chocolate or coffee is not a safe or sane move!

Two Words...

2010-03-25T14:58:00.000-07:00

Morphine drip. Mom bounced herself out of the hospital on Saturday, so the hospital played along and discharged her. She was sent home with an auto-drip pain med dispenser plugged into her chest. The machine purred like a cat and we both chuckled each time it went off. I called mom the other day, after the machine had run out and she had taken the tube out, and she seems to be doing very well, all things considered. Mom claims she is not in a great deal of pain, but after giving birth 7 times, her threshold for pain might be higher then normal.

Moving and bruising

2010-03-18T12:45:00.000-07:00

The current roomie, who appears to have moved her "fiance" into her room, cannot move out soon enough! I never know if she is home and someone left 5 empty boxes of crackers in the pantry. Nuf said.

Mom goes in for surgery tomorrow, so happy thoughts. I will head out to Narnia, again, tomorrow and plan to stay as long as needed.

I am at the acupunturist as I type. It seems to be working, but I have to warn people that it is like finding a doctor or dentist. If it doesn't feel right, stop going and find someone you like and trust. I went to a local gal while in Naperville who gave me the heebie jeebies and didn't appear to listen to a word I said. I am back at the acupuntcure school where the treatments are free if you have a few hours to wait.

I am alive!

2010-03-10T17:35:00.001-08:00

I love when your friends call to check on you to make sure you are still alive. Some call to keep in contact, some call to make sure things are going ok, and some just call wanting to know when I am cooking dinner at home again...LOL

For those who did not hear, dad was in the hospital last week and mom left for Rome on Friday. So, my original plans to just spend the weekend with dad getting him set up with meals for the week became an extended stay at camp grandma's. I arrived Friday after work and Miss Kitty joined us on Saturday. Mom is due home Saturday and I will go home for the week to come back next week after mom is out of surgery.

For those of you who asked, YES, it appears the acupuncture worked for the hot flashes!!! I had gone in twice a week for 2 weeks and then one treatment the following week. I was also given some herbs to take. About 2 weeks after my last treatment, the hot flashes started to come back with a vengeance. Anyone who says that hot flashes are just in your head or are, "Not a big deal" has never had a hot flash from HELL. I refer to them as debilitating and did not fully realize how much they bothered me until I was able to get them to go away for a few days.

I have decided that acupuncture is like massage or psychotherapy, it takes more then one dose and you have to keep going. I have also decided that acupuncture is like pain meds. You may not be fully aware that it is working, but you sure as hell know when it starts to wear off and the symptoms start to return!

Is it wrong?

2010-02-15T11:11:00.001-08:00

I spent some time with mom and dad this weekend and during a discussion about mom's plans for surgery, it came out that the doctor who performed the biopsy told her it was so small he may have gotten the entire thing out while performing the biopsy. So, my thought is...if it was that small, and most of it is likely gone, if not all...at her age, should she even bother to have anything other then a lumpectomy? Apparently the doctors also informed her that her type of breast cancer was not the aggressive hereditary type, but may be more a function of age. With what I went through with my surgeries, my question is, is it wrong to possibly tell her to think about just letting it go???

Sleeping

2010-02-12T11:05:00.000-08:00

It seems it comes and goes, and right now it comes. My hip pain that is. For a time, it seemed to be getting better. As of late, it appears to be regressing. It does not help that Miss Kitty likes to sleep on my hips at night. This may be in part for shared body heat and in part to avoid being rolled over on if she sleeps by my side.

I am working

2010-02-05T07:38:00.001-08:00

My feet still hurt at the end of the day. My hips still hurt when I try to sleep on my side, more to follow, due to the amount of time I spent in a prone position. I am still totally, completely and utterly exhausted at the end of a long day, but I am working. I am glad to a) still be around to work, b) able to work, c) have a job to work at, and d) making enough to pay the rent by myself because apparently my roomie cannot be bothered....very heavy sigh!

Kidding, right??

2010-02-03T10:01:00.000-08:00

The women's health clinic at the VA called me very concerned because I was wayyyyyyyy (yes, emphasis on way) long overdue for a pap smear......really? So the biopsy they did on my uteras a year and a half ago didn't count? My GP said the last thing he was worried about were the possible results from a pap smear. Evidently, that did not translate to his staff.

Again, whoever said that noone ever died from a hot flash obviously never had one. In researching the issue on the internet, it appears that acupuncture may be the answer. I am willing to try anything that doesn't involve taking more pills or vitamins.

Do I care too much?

2010-01-27T13:53:00.000-08:00

Do I spend too much time worrying about my friends and their needs? Do I not spend enough time dealing with my own issues? A friend of mine did not show up for work again today making it two days in a row. I am not her mother or her keeper but I can't help worry about the fact she may get fired for this. She may have valid medical excuses or some other valid excuse, but why do I worry? I worry about my friends who have lost loved ones. I am working on getting my sister's baby shower under way (she is due in July!). I worry about things I think I should be doing for the board of directors for the Evanston Festival Theatre. I mull over the fact that I have not cooked dinner for any number of different friends over the past few weeks, yet it is not my job to feed them and they did not call me looking for a meal. I worried that Michael would have a great birthday even though he was living with his father and brother.

I guess I should worry less about others and maybe focus on me. Oh wait, I have wayyyyy too many self issues....it is safer looking outwards....LOL

Manis and pedis and hair, oh my!

2010-01-21T10:34:00.000-08:00

I think that I am ()this close to being able to get a pedicure! No one can possibly imagine how much I want and need a pedicure! I KNOW, TMI! I have given up on the fingernails. My hair is doing its own thing right now but the curls are beginning to relax. I am seriously thinking about a haircut/trim!

Roommates

2010-01-19T11:11:00.000-08:00

My attempts to adopt an older male cat to keep Miss Kitty company failed miserably this past weekend. He came, she saw, they screamed, he peed the couch, he went back!

My current roommate is quiet and seems to never be home. The only reason I have a roommate is to help pay the rent, although I have had roommates whose company I rather enjoyed.

I currently have two potential roommate options. The first is to move in with a friend who has a HUGE 3br/2bath apartment. The downside is that my rent would stay about the same. The upside is that I would have my own bathroom and great company.

The second option is the possibility of Rick moving here to split a place. The upside is that he is willing to clean and loves to cook. The down side is the tobacco use. I have to admit the spitting thing drives me insane.

Both options are very viable but one involves moving, another involves staying where I am and probably having the rent go up again, or is there a third option? What about finding a new place? The question could become that of one, two or three bedrooms?

He passed

2010-01-18T11:11:00.000-08:00

Those who know me well will have heard me mention my friend Rick (McReynolds) more then once. His father, who was in the advanced stages of Parkinsons, has passed. I hope everyone will take a moment to send Rick positive vibes. My thoughts and prayers are with him.

On the same topic, it would seem I might have to think about the roomie situation. We had previously discussed his moving to Chicago, but only time will tell.

The update to the same old de ja vu

2010-01-11T09:22:00.000-08:00

I spent part of the weekend in Naperville talking to mom. I realized on the train ride out there that I was going for reasons that were more selfish then giving. I needed to discuss this with her because the issue hit so close to home. I am glad I went and I believe she is glad I went as well.

The one thing that we discussed in detail was the fact that the doctor told her to go ahead and have the double mastectomy (so no chemo or rad.) and she would be back up and running around in a few weeks so she could have the surgery before she left for Rome. REALLY?? I explained that while the wounds might be closed up and the scars healing, if she was planning to go on vacation without anyone else to help, it was possible she wasn't going be able to carry her purse, let alone get her luggage out of overhead and carry it all over Rome! Vacation means shopping and how would she be able to carry all her tourist crap?

Thank you all for your words of support. It is what it is and we are all back down off the ledge of panic and fear. At least she had the decency to wait until I was done with all my treatments...LOL I keep telling her she might just be doing all this for the attention.

Unfortunately

2010-01-06T15:47:00.001-08:00

This may not be the way my mom wants the world to find out, but her tests came back positive. My heart goes out to her and I offered to be there for her on Friday, when she meets with the doctors, but it seems she thinks I am a bit too...over the top? reactionary? like a freight train running a downhill slope? I have to say, as I ranted on to my sister, I guess I could see her point. Anyone who knows me, and loves me anyways, knows that I am...a "passionate" person. Yes, I am passionate. I just hope she knows I will be there to whatever degree she needs me to be AND I will throw in a prayer or two for her.

The huge things

2010-01-03T06:39:00.000-08:00

After I finished posting yesterday it dawned on me that it appeared I had blown over the huge things by focusing on the little things. By huge things, I mean the people and things, that to me, made a huge difference in my life last year. Every single person who took me to or from chemo, or who took care of me over a chemo weekend, that was HUGE in my book. My sister Amy was my angel without whom I would not have been able to do anything last year. It reminds me of that footprints on the sand story and trust me, hers were the primary footsteps. I really do now know what I would have done without her help. I felt like I left things unsaid because those who were there with me knew that they had my undying gratitude. It took a village to raise this idiot.

The technology ledge and the little things

2010-01-02T11:09:00.000-08:00

I started my day yesterday by stepping back off the crackberry ledge and pulling my head out of my butt. For anyone who knows me well, and loves me anyways, they know I am not allowed to buy technology without adult supervision. Ian needed a new phone because his was broken. I wanted a new phone so I could access my email when I am out and about because the temp world is getting over crowded and I need to be able to respond to job offers much more quickly then I could in the past.

I started with the idea in mind that I needed a phone without a camera. Cameras are not allowed in the courtroom but I quickly realized I may be the only lawyer on the planet actually paying attention to that rule. Also, if I am at a courthouse that won't let my phone in, I drove there and I can leave it in the car. I was talked into buying a crackberry with the understanding that I could do so many things I would soon be addicted.

Wrong answer keebler! Giving me a crackberry was the equivalent of giving a newly licensed driver the keys to a semi truck and telling them to figure it out. I knew I was in wayyyyy over my head the second I left that store. Long story short, I spent hours trying to figure it out and only managed to figure out that I needed a different phone. I have a new phone with bells and whistles and I am figuring it out much faster then I had hoped. I even figured out how to download an app for that, if only I could figure out how to launch the app.

Yesterday, after straightening up the cell phone debacle in a record 1.5 hours (I brought the guy at the store a hot cocoa from Starbucks and told him to settle in for a long and bumpy ride), I picked up a few things at the store and settled in for a long veg on the couch. I came to realize that for the new year I was truly grateful for the little things and the people that do them. Just a few things that came to mind were:

My roommate cleaning the house and emptying the dishwasher for me when I was too busy between work and Ian.
Nikka for letting me use her car to accomplish things I need to go someplace to get it done.
Becky for showing me that you can rough chop your veggies for a soup and then make it creamy by simply putting it in the food processor instead of fine chopping the veggies and adding cream.
My brother Tom for giving even when he may not be able to afford it.
My dear friend Robert for being willing to take a spare set of keys (that came in uber handy when Ian took my set home to Texas).
My friend JW texting or calling out of the blue just to check up on me, although the texts may come early and I still have trouble turning off the text notification.
Ian for telling me that no matter what crap his dad says about me, he won't believe it.

Stuff like this may seem small but means the world to me.

It's a new one!

2010-01-01T06:31:00.000-08:00

I read somewhere that almost half, if not more, of a group of people who were polled said that this past year was by far the worst year in a long time. With unemployment rates skyrocketing, homes being foreclosed in huge numbers and the economy tanking the way it did, it is a wonder anyone who did not formerly have billions in the bank survived to tell the tale.

As we ALL know, this past year for me was a bad year, medically speaking. Technically it all began in '08, but the vast majority of my medical issues consumed 2009. With that said, I am still thankful to be alive, glad I got the girls reduced and happy to have lost a few pounds. I am not happy about the whole hair thing, but it is saving me TONS on haircare and maintenance. (Yes folks, still riding that gravy train!)

I am happy to report I am starting the new year with a new phone and a temp gig that should last at least a day or two into the new year. It is always nice to go into a new year with a pending paycheck!

The bad news, or alternatively, the other shoe, is the fact that my mother is awaiting the results of her needle biopsy. They found a small lump in her breast and she had the biopsy on Wednesday. Because of the holiday, she will not have her results until Monday, at the earliest. The good news is that neither her mammogram nor her biopsy were so clearly definitive that performing the actual lab analysis were merely part of the protocol. In my case, even I could tell from the mammo and the biopsy results that my news was bad right away. The lump was obvious to a legally blind person on the mammogram and the lab tech told me that while healthy cells are pink and float, cancer cells are white and sink. I was immediately informed that I had, "...a lot of sinkers".

I had described in detail what they do for the "needle biopsy" (NEEDLE MY ASS) and how it was more like a rotorooter. Those who read the post regarding this whole nightmare are fully aware that this was a highly disturbing thing to endure. My mother said that my recitation of the facts and issues, in addition to a graphic description of the procedure, were spot on and she actually found herself chuckling through the procedure. The lab tech said my description of the thing as a rotorooter was the best she had heard.

Let's all be thankful we pulled out of the last year in reasonably good shape and keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers. NOONE should have to go through this.

Back to work!

2009-12-28T14:36:00.000-08:00

I am back to work for this week, but not a clue on the planet as to whether or not I will still be employed next week. I am taking it one day at a time! I do not mind working and a new project means the brain has to actually engage in the thinking process.

I am putting this out there...all I want for my upcoming bday is a copy of "Mastering the Art of French Cooking" by Julie Child. I would prefer a hardcover and would not mind a used one.

Tis the season

2009-12-22T08:40:00.000-08:00

I am loving having Ian home with me for a few days. This week he is staying at my sister's in Downers Grove and visiting his friends in Naperville. DG is much closer to Narnia then Edgewater and Mark has a huge TV and gaming system. Yeah, it was a tough call being forced to stay with Mark and Jean. Ian was a bit shocked by my appearance, but says I look pretty good for having battled breast cancer. His being here reminds me that I am grateful for my family and friends and also reminds me that I had to have done something right to have raised such a good kid.

OH NO HE DIDN'T!!!

2009-12-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

After hitting the post office hard, I stopped by a few places to pick up a few things for the holidays. One of my stops was to the Card Party Outlet to pick up a gift bag for a bottle of wine. The price was $.99 and it was on sale 20% off. After he rung me up he took a further discount making the purchase a grand total of $.74 cents with tax. Go me, right? It was as I was leaving that I noticed a small sign by the register stating it was senior citizens discount day. When I got home I looked at my receipt. Oh yes he did! REALLY???!???

Hot flashes and a warm cat

2009-12-16T07:39:00.000-08:00

That is how you survive a winter night in Chicago when the heat goes off! The building had boiler issues last night and it was chilly in my apartment. I took a hot shower and wore flannel jammies to bed and the inside temp was 57 deg. when I went to bed at 10. I was even a bit chilly during the hot flashes, but they served to warm me up. The heat was back on by the time I got up this morning and I awoke to find Miss Kitty wrapped around the radiator in my room, which apparently gets warm just at the base. I don't turn the radiator in my room on ever because the rest of the apartment is usually warm enough to keep the frost at bay and I like it a bit chilly.

My hands and feet seem to have returned to the numb and tingly phase I thought I was over, but it might just be the holiday workout they received for baking a gianormous amount of holiday baked goods!

My eyebrows

2009-12-12T08:00:00.001-08:00

I must start off this post by saying it is nice to have hair again. My head is not as cold as it was while I was bald. I had hoped against hope it would come in the beautiful red color I had paid dearly for, but alas, it came back as grey as it was before. The weird thing is that it started out completely silver and it has changed to more of a grey color. Additionally, it seems there are more dark hairs in there then before and the pepper/salt ratio appears to be increasing, albeit slightly.

That said, my eyebrows have grown back as well. They are much lighter then they used to be, but it beats being bald and eyebrowless. The first hairs to grow back were actually the few black hairs on my chin. (Not even close to a TMI!) Now I appear to have a few black hairs growing in my eyebrows. It is almost noticeable in the mirror (as opposed to viewing through a magnification mirror in my hand) and I must say it is a little off puttng. I am glad to have hair for the winter, so we shall just have to see where it all winds up.

My toenails (TMI alert)

2009-12-11T10:12:00.000-08:00

My fingernails are grown out enough to get a manicure, but my nails have always been crappy so it is almost a waste of money and I never seem to have 10 longish nails at the same time.

My toenails are not grown out enough to get a pedicure yet and MAN OH MAN I could use a pedicure. I know, wants and needs, but I realllllllllly need a pedicure.

I sit corrected.

2009-12-05T07:30:00.001-08:00

In further reading, I came to realize that my blood pressure meds do not tend to effect my cholesterol, but rather, tend to elevate the blood sugar levels. So, as it stands, my anti-hormones are likely causing my cholesterol to spike and my blood pressure meds likely effect my blood sugar levels. So it begs the question, which is worse the disease or the cure?

I did not know...

2009-12-04T07:10:00.000-08:00

On Monday, Dr. Murdock, my GP, took one look at my bloodwork and had a cow. My white and hemoglobin are within "normal" range, although my hemoglobin went down again, but my cholesteral was through the roof. It has always been a bit high, but this was off the charts. I received a 20 minute lecture on not eating right, during which time I swore up and down my diet had not changed and I was back on fruits and veggies. I went home questioning every bite I ate over the past 6 months.

Yesterday, in a weird twist of fate, I stumbled across an article which said that estrogen is, in part, responsible for regulating cholestral in women and that women in prime fertility years tend to have the lowest cholestral ratings in women. When the estrogen goes down, as in menopause or anti-hormone therapy, the cholesteral levels tend to shoot up. Also, my blood pressure meds may be contributing to it as well. Who knew???

Happy day after!

2009-11-27T11:02:00.001-08:00

I hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving day feast that couldn't be beat! I hosted roomie and friends for supper so we had one turkey, one Rowandan, one Muslim, two Americans and one Pole. It was wonderful. Now to consume all the leftovers. I have to say I was extremely grateful for the all of the support I received from family and friends this year and glad to be finished with all my treatments.

For the holidays this year I will officially be backing stolen, fruit cake and fudge. For the locals, if there is something you reallllly want me to make, I will take small requests for special items. So, mom, dad, Amy, Robert, Jean, Mark, unborn fetus, etc.....ask away! I will only be shipping fruitcake, fudge and stolen to NM and VA, you know who you are, so if anyone else wants some, send cash for postage....LOL

I go in for my annual physical Monday and for follow-up blood work. Dr. B was concerned about my white count. I will post an update when I have any news to post.

How could I forget??

2009-11-24T07:43:00.000-08:00

I am not employed and still up in the air on unemployment, I have a roommate, and I am wondering how I could forget to mention that I am now a member of the Board of Directors for the Evanston Festival Theatre! They produce the Custer St. Fair and run both the Piccolo Theatre and the Main Street Arts Depot in Evanston. I love volunteering for such a great cause!

Heading into the holidays...

2009-11-21T09:27:00.000-08:00

Well, things are beginning to settle down. I may have a roommate this weekend, and I may or may not be working again on Monday. I am just waiting to hear back from the temp agency. The legal world always slows down for the winter holidays so if I don't get something going now, I may be out of luck. I have exhausted my unemployment benefits but I was working for a bit before my extension was granted or denied. We shall see.

Ian is coming home for Christmas and Michael has chosen to stay put. Apparently Ian convinced him it was his turn so Michael couldn't come. I made the offer, but this is the last time I will get to spend quality time with Ian before he graduates and goes off to bootcamp. DO NOT even get me started on thinking about the fact my baby has joined the Army!

Child support has been set. Basically for the next year and a half, he gets his retirement money back plus a bit more. It is what it is.

My scar, I know, which one?

2009-11-16T05:53:00.000-08:00

The scar on my chest from where they yanked out the port (formerly known as the sucking chest wound) is hurting like an SOB. For a while, it was down to a very dull roar and at times it still itches like crazy. But, for some reason, it has decided to really start hurting again. Oh well, this too shall pass and if it is my only complaint, I am lucky!

I've been shot...twice

2009-11-03T18:05:00.000-08:00

Pursuant to orders from Dr. B, I have now had both an annual flu shot and the H1N1 shot. Apparently I fall into one of the "at risk" categories.

Princess and the pea...again

2009-11-01T05:36:00.000-08:00

Just like when I was undergoing chemo, my body hurts most days. A large part of it has to do with sitting or laying down for extended periods of time. Working, even little bits here and there, seems to help, but at the end of the day I am wiped out. It is very hard to get to sleep when my body is screaming at me and I can feel the label on the inside of my pajama bottoms pressing into my back. Like I said, moving around and walking around helps and it seems to get a bit better. I am glad for the sleeping pills because they allow me to achieve deep sleep and I seem to be back to rolling from side to side during sleep. This helps keep the pressure more even and off of one particular spot (read left hip). I am still amazed at the number of folks who seem to love the new hair.